Did you ever try the ones that come in the little foil packs with the pull tab on the side? Those are even handier for salads, the whole thing folds flat in your pocket. I still keep a couple of cans for big batches of tuna salad or casseroles, but for a quick lunch the pouch is the way to go. Just watch out that the cheap ones sometimes have more water than tuna, so check the weight before you grab them.

Tried mounting mine on cardboard once, ended up with a wavy mess and red fingers.

Man, that "surface water entry" bit is brutal. Sorry your neighbor had to learn that the hard way, but it's a good kick in the pants for the rest of us. I'm gonna go check my own exclusions tonight.

Buddy of mine tried that rope method on a similar pitch outside of Boulder, slipped twice and just gave up. He ended up doing the whole job with the rotary setup from a ladder on the side, took him nearly two hours but he didn't break anything. I think he's still mad I didn't tell him about the truck strap trick sooner.

The guy with the Dual 1219 might actually be doing you a favor, because that table is picky about tracking force and will shred records if the groove is too deep. Shallow cuts are way easier on the stylus over time, especially for 45s that get spun constantly, so you could be extending the life of both your records and that cheap needle. Plus, if one collector can tell the difference, there's probably a handful more out there who will notice and respect the tweak, even if they don't say it to your face.