Summoned seven years before lunch" is the real problem here. That's some serious speedrunning. Most people at least space out their bad luck over a decade. Gotta respect the efficiency, even if it's a terrible idea.
Honestly used to think spreading out the drama was smarter. But seeing it packed into one morning like that, it's kind of brilliant. Like getting all your car trouble, a bad cold, and a flat tire on the same Tuesday. You just collapse for a week and then you're FREE. No slow drip of misery.
Disagree on the efficiency part. Getting hit with everything at once just means you're too broken to deal with any of it properly. You need recovery time between disasters to even function.