What about The Bear?

That reminds me of the time I was clearly struggling with a huge box. A stranger just said "That looks heavy." Like, yeah, no kidding!

Oh the garden hose trick is genius for a curve! I had a stone fire pit with the same problem, and I ended up using a piece of heavy mason's line tied to a brick as a plumb bob. I'd hold the line at the top course and let the brick hang down against the curve to spot the bulges. Your water idea is way cleaner though, no fighting with string.

Actually garlic presses are like five bucks at target, not some big purchase. But yeah that feeling of fixing a tiny daily annoyance is real.

My buddy's garage still smells like burnt plastic.