Gourds don't grow on purpose. They just do whatever they hit.

3/4 inch off" is a polite way to put it. I had the same thing happen with a pallet of "2x4s" that were actually 45mm, and I only found out after framing half a wall. The door guy laughed at me when I told him why everything was crooked. Now I carry a cheap caliper in my truck and check the first piece of every stack before I even turn on the saw. It takes thirty seconds and saves a whole day of swearing. Plus the lumber yard guys hate me for it, but I don't care anymore.

Wait, is this really a disaster or did you just get a free kitchen cleaning session and a funny story out of $2 worth of lentils? Honestly, that foam explosion probably saved you from having to scrub your stove for another month, and your roommate's laptop was probably already on its last legs anyway. Plus, you still got your curry and skipped the $14 takeout, so technically you came out ahead by like $12 and change. The only real issue here is that you forgot the lid, and that's just a basic cooking mistake, not the lentils being some kind of chaos agent.